a card game for management teams · three levels, one evening

know the room

The card asks the question, not you. That’s what it’s for.

Whoever draws answers first. Then two more people, whoever wants to. On cards marked ALL, everyone answers in one sentence.
No arguing. You can ask someone a question back, but don’t debate their answer. “Thank you” is enough.
Everyone gets one VETO. Play it on a card aimed at you and the card is gone. You don’t have to explain.
Nothing leaves the room. Not in a meeting, not in a feedback round, not in an argument. Ever.
Silence is fine, and so are breaks. Ten seconds feels like a minute. Wait anyway. Anyone can stop for ten minutes.

before you start

Everyone writes one sentence on a card — what you want to be true about this team by the end of the night. Fold it, don’t show anyone. You open them at the end.

Give everyone one VETO.

one phone in the middle of the table is enough. the screen stays on while you play.

level 1 · how we see each other

level 1

What did you first think of the person on your left? Were you right?

1 / 15know the room

level 1

Why did you really join this company? Not the interview answer. (Founders: why did you really start it?)

2 / 15know the room

level 1

Whose job here could you do for a month — and whose would break you in a week?

3 / 15know the room

level 1

What's one thing about your life outside work that we don't know?

4 / 15know the room

level 1

Whose strength at this table do you wish you had? Say their name.

5 / 15know the room

level 1all

On three, everyone point at the person with the hardest job right now. Then say why.

6 / 15know the room

level 1

What do people get wrong about your job?

7 / 15know the room

level 1

When were you last proud of this team? This team, not the company.

8 / 15know the room

level 1

What's the best decision this team made this year?

9 / 15know the room

level 1all

Three words for how this team feels right now. Think first, then say them one by one.

10 / 15know the room

level 1

What were you like at 20? What would that person think of this job?

11 / 15know the room

level 1

What moment from your first weeks here do you still think about?

12 / 15know the room

level 1

What have you quietly copied from someone in this room?

13 / 15know the room

level 1

What part of your week do you secretly enjoy that others would find boring?

14 / 15know the room

level 1all

Hold up 1 to 10 fingers, all at once: how well do we really know each other as people, not as job titles? Look at the numbers. Don't talk about them — that's what Level 2 is for.

last cardknow the room

level 2 · what we don't usually say

level 2

What pressure are you under that the rest of us don't see?

1 / 15know the room

level 2

When do you feel most alone in your job?

2 / 15know the room

level 2

What part of your job do you doubt yourself on most?

3 / 15know the room

level 2

What has gotten harder for you as we've grown?

4 / 15know the room

level 2

When did you last ask yourself if you're the right person for your job?

5 / 15know the room

level 2

What do you protect your team from that they never see?

6 / 15know the room

level 2

What do you think about how we work that you keep to yourself?

7 / 15know the room

level 2

Where do you hold back in this room? What would make you stop?

8 / 15know the room

level 2

What feedback did you once get that changed you?

9 / 15know the room

level 2

When were you closest to burning out? What did it feel like from the inside?

10 / 15know the room

level 2

What conversation is this team avoiding?

11 / 15know the room

level 2

What do you need from this group that you've never asked for?

12 / 15know the room

level 2

What moment here hurt more than you showed?

13 / 15know the room

level 2

What are you afraid this job might cost you?

14 / 15know the room

level 2all

Say the most honest sentence you can say to this group right now.

last cardknow the room

level 3 · what we promise

level 3

What would make this the best team you've ever been on? What's missing?

1 / 12know the room

level 3

What do you want to be known for here a year from now?

2 / 12know the room

level 3

What should this team never lose, no matter how big we get?

3 / 12know the room

level 3

Which relationship in this room do you want to build most this quarter? Say who and why.

4 / 12know the room

level 3

What should we stop doing to each other in meetings?

5 / 12know the room

level 3

What do you need from the person on your right to do your best work?

6 / 12know the room

level 3

What risk should we take that we're too polite to name?

7 / 12know the room

level 3

What should this team start doing every week — and keep doing at twice the size?

8 / 12know the room

level 3

Where is trust in this team weakest?

9 / 12know the room

level 3

What will you do differently with this team after tonight?

10 / 12know the room

level 3

What conversation just got easier?

11 / 12know the room

level 3all

Make one promise to this table. Small enough to keep, big enough to matter. You'll say it again at the end.

last cardknow the room

the end of the evening

end

Open your folded sentences from the start. Read them out loud. Did we get there?

1 / 3know the room

endall

Say one thing you appreciate about the person on your left. Be specific, not nice.

2 / 3know the room

end

Say your promise from Level 3 again. One sentence each, around the table.

3 / 3know the room

level 1 · how we see each other

What did you first think of the person on your left? Were you right?

Why did you really join this company? Not the interview answer. (Founders: why did you really start it?)

Whose job here could you do for a month — and whose would break you in a week?

What's one thing about your life outside work that we don't know?

Whose strength at this table do you wish you had? Say their name.

On three, everyone point at the person with the hardest job right now. Then say why.

What do people get wrong about your job?

When were you last proud of this team? This team, not the company.

What's the best decision this team made this year?

Three words for how this team feels right now. Think first, then say them one by one.

What were you like at 20? What would that person think of this job?

What moment from your first weeks here do you still think about?

What have you quietly copied from someone in this room?

What part of your week do you secretly enjoy that others would find boring?

Hold up 1 to 10 fingers, all at once: how well do we really know each other as people, not as job titles? Look at the numbers. Don't talk about them — that's what Level 2 is for.

level 2 · what we don't usually say

What pressure are you under that the rest of us don't see?

When do you feel most alone in your job?

What part of your job do you doubt yourself on most?

What has gotten harder for you as we've grown?

When did you last ask yourself if you're the right person for your job?

What do you protect your team from that they never see?

What do you think about how we work that you keep to yourself?

Where do you hold back in this room? What would make you stop?

What feedback did you once get that changed you?

When were you closest to burning out? What did it feel like from the inside?

What conversation is this team avoiding?

What do you need from this group that you've never asked for?

What moment here hurt more than you showed?

What are you afraid this job might cost you?

Say the most honest sentence you can say to this group right now.

level 3 · what we promise

What would make this the best team you've ever been on? What's missing?

What do you want to be known for here a year from now?

What should this team never lose, no matter how big we get?

Which relationship in this room do you want to build most this quarter? Say who and why.

What should we stop doing to each other in meetings?

What do you need from the person on your right to do your best work?

What risk should we take that we're too polite to name?

What should this team start doing every week — and keep doing at twice the size?

Where is trust in this team weakest?

What will you do differently with this team after tonight?

What conversation just got easier?

Make one promise to this table. Small enough to keep, big enough to matter. You'll say it again at the end.